This is the story of our precious baby boy, who was diagnosed prenatally at
17 weeks with a fatal chromosome disorder called Trisomy 13. Although
Jonathan's condition is considered "not compatible with life", we desired to give
him every chance at life. Our prayer is that those who are touched by our story
are drawn to God, who is Life Himself. John 14:6

To start at the beginning of our story, click here.


baby ailah update

i just learned that baby ailah passed away today after blessing her family with 28 days of life.

please continue to lift up her parents and family in prayer if you are so led.

thank you!


this just makes it all the more real...

this is not news to anyone, but more like reality settling in for me...we're gonna have a baby.  a very large healthy baby boy.  sometime next month!!!

a couple of weekends ago, a group of friends and family helped make this seemingly distant event become very, very real to me with each word of encouragement i received as well as with each baby blue item i unwrapped.

this is actually happening.  and it's time to celebrate...

the spread...

the amazing matches evan's nursery!

the gift centerpiece

the onesie says "I roll with Jesus" with a stroller on it!

hand-painted by my friend cathy!

group shot...unfortunately taken after a few ladies had already left.


me at 32 weeks (evan is measuring 3 weeks ahead!)

i'm so thankful for everyone who has sent me such kind words of encouragement and sent up prayers on our behalf for baby evan and my pregnancy.  we are blessed by you.


finally...'s here! 

after weeks of editing drawings and measurements, we are so pleased with the final product.  "gulf coast monuments" in fort walton beach did a fantastic job.

the top part says "our gift from God" because that is what jonathan's name means.  hence, the scripture at the bottom which reads "Every good and perfect gift is from above..." ~James 1:17

the picture we chose completely represents where we believe jonathan is the arms of Jesus.  i can't even explain it in words, but the feeling i felt when jonathan died in my arms and the moments that followed...i know with absolute certainty that there was a holy presence in our hospital room that night.  i've never felt it so strongly before in my life and i haven't felt it as strongly since.  God was with us.

and so, just over a year after jonathan's birth and death, the headstone also represents to us the final thing that needed to be done for our son, almost like a large granite bookend to the past year.  there's not much left for us to do now; maybe occasionally wipe off any dirt left from a rainstorm, or pull any weeds around his plot, and bring him seasonal flowers and other items.  sadly, this kind of maintenance takes the place of us caring for him like we would if he were here with us.  how i'd love to give him a bath, or have the opportunity to change a dirty diaper, or clean off his muddy hands or face after he had played in the dirt.  instead, we get to parent a headstone. 

wow, the perspective i've gained from all of this.


another goodbye

this time, i am saying goodbye to my paternal grandmother, "mimi", who passed away yesterday just shy of 90 years of age.  and even though she was almost 90, it was still somewhat of a shock that she passed away so suddenly, as she seemed to be in decent health most of the time.  her passing makes it the third loss in my family in just a year and a half.

Mimi with Kate, a couple of years ago
but i know that the Lord ordaines our days and knows when they begin and when they end. 

and i am thankful that i got to grow up with a grandmother who lived nearby and loved having all of the grandchildren over to her house.  i have such great memories of spending time with all of my grandparents from as far back as i can remember.

i'm thankful that my children will have the same opportunity to spend lots of time with their grandparents as they too all live nearby.

i'm also touched that jonathan shares a birthday (october 8th) with my maternal grandmother, "nana", who passed away a few months before he did.  my mimi's birthday is on december 9th, a couple of weeks before evan's due date.  it sure would be interesting if evan were born on that day...i guess we will see.