This is the story of our precious baby boy, who was diagnosed prenatally at
17 weeks with a fatal chromosome disorder called Trisomy 13. Although
Jonathan's condition is considered "not compatible with life", we desired to give
him every chance at life. Our prayer is that those who are touched by our story
are drawn to God, who is Life Himself. John 14:6

To start at the beginning of our story, click here.


jonathan's celebration

jonathan's first birthday has come and gone, but not without quite a bit of anticipation of this huge milestone in our lives.  once it passed, i actually felt relief. 

leading up to jonathan's birthday, i spent a lot of time thinking about october 8, 2009. i also initially put pressure on myself all week to put those thoughts into words and post it here as part of his "baby journal", but to be honest i really didn't know where to begin. usually to celebrate your baby's first year, you might post photos documenting the important milestones your baby reached throughout the year. or pictures of your baby digging into his first birthday cake. but i don't have any new pictures. i don't have anything new to share about what he's been up to, what he looks like now, or anything like that. celebrating your baby's first birthday when he died on the day he was born....i wasn't quite sure how to appropriately mark this occasion.

i also wanted to find "the perfect" scripture to post on his birthday blog but was having trouble finding exactly what i thought was the "right one." so i decided to let the pressure go with posting a blog and to just celebrate the occasion the way that felt most natural to us, and that included spending time with the people who were there when jonathan was born and supported us through the past year.

the night before jonathan's birthday, i picked up my bible to read that day's scripture.  i've been reading consecutively through the Psalms every night before bed, and interestingly enough, that night the one i read  was Psalm 40.  the number 40 has meant such a great deal to me since jonathan's death because i believe it has biblical meaning:  each time the number 40 is used in the bible, it marks a period of trial followed by a period of rest and restoration.  it also happens to be the number of minutes jonathan lived after birth.  coincidence?  i personally don't believe in coincidence. 

the first part of Psalm 40 reads:

I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

Blessed is the man
who makes the LORD his trust,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.

Many, O LORD my God,
are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us
no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare.

~Psalm 40:1-5

Psalm 40 perfectly describes our last year without jonathan.  how amazing (and timely) is that??


we celebrated the jonathan's birthday by meeting at jonathan's gravesite with a small group of some of our closest friends and family that evening.  our worship pastor lead a devotion and prayer time based on Psalm 111 and we gave all the kids balloons to release up to heaven.

Jonathan's marker...still no headstone on his birthday.

we then went out to a local mexican restaurant - the same one we ate at after jonathan's funeral - and fellowshiped over chips and salsa (and fajitas for evan.)

Some of my closest girlfriends
later, our families met at greg's parent's house and had cupcakes for dessert.

it was such a nice time without any tears.  we still just feel so blessed to have experienced jonathan's life, even for such a short time, and i'm so glad we celebrated it the way that we did.


  1. I loved this. I love the Scripture and the meaning behind it. Thanks for sharing your special day! As our day looms closer, I have been thinking about how we should spend it. Being in Texas, we are unable to go to Henry's grave, or be with our families. We will probably do something small as our little family. We will be with our families over Thanksgiving and can celebrate then. Thanks again for sharing! Praying for you and the new little one!

  2. What beautiful, beautiful we lead up to Matthew's birthday, I have a feeling I'll feel very similarly in so many things you wrote.

    What a blessing your sweet little Jonathan was to this earth. I was listening to a book by Andy Andrews tonight and part of it was where one character was telling another (old) character that they hadn't outlived their usefulness because as long as they were alive, it meant that God had a purpose for them to fulfill before they went to Heaven...and I thought about our boys, and so many other little ones....who it may not seem had much of a purpose if one looks at tangible things, but whose very lives and testimonies are SO POWERFUL and purposeful.

    What a blessing indeed to be their mothers.

  3. I am so happy you had such a sweet day with family and friends. What a precious boy. Happy Birthday Jonathan!