This is the story of our precious baby boy, who was diagnosed prenatally at
17 weeks with a fatal chromosome disorder called Trisomy 13. Although
Jonathan's condition is considered "not compatible with life", we desired to give
him every chance at life. Our prayer is that those who are touched by our story
are drawn to God, who is Life Himself. John 14:6

To start at the beginning of our story, click here.


theme of the week, take three


recently i was saddened to learn that another family listed on the "living with trisomy 13" website's prenatal page had lost their precious baby girl a few days ago. just a couple of months earlier, we were one of five families listed on the page. now, we are the only family on there. it is a lonely place to be. the picture there of the three of us smiling happily belies the sorrowful journey we are now walking a few months after that picture was taken. being the only family on there really puts things into perspective for us. it is now our turn.


i finally called the birth center's social worker last week to make arrangements to meet with her in the next few days. i wasn't sure what to expect, probably because i don't really know what a social worker does, but i am glad i talked with her because i felt more comfortable with how it will all go down on d-day (delivery day.) she asked me a lot of questions about myself and our situation, probably to establish a bit of a relationship before we meet. during our conversation, i felt the need to let her know that greg and i had very strong faith in the Lord and that in spite of the sad situation we were in the midst of, "we do have perspective..." my voice trailed off at that point. i knew what i was trying to say, but i just didn't have the right words to complete the sentence. thankfully, she knew exactly what i meant.


my mother and i have been talking about perspective over the past few days. it started when we were having the conversation about the unknown that lay ahead of us when jonathan is born. we have been blessed with over three months now to do everything we can to prepare ourselves as best we can emotionally and spiritually. but we won't know what is going to happen until we are actually walking through it. what we do know, however, is that the condition of jonathan's heart and kidneys means that we should expect the worst but hope and pray for the best. i don't think there is anyway greg and i can truly prepare ourselves for this experience. but i can absolutely say for sure that God has carried us thus far...why would He not carry us through the days that follow jonathan's death?

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." ~Deuteronomy 31:6

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. When you pass through the rivers, they will not flow over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned. The fire will not destroy you." ~Isaiah 43:2

my mother found this fitting quote and scripture in a daily devotional and read it to me:

"It seems there are two kinds of people in this world: those who have an eternal perspective and those who are preoccupied with the present. One is absorbed with the permanent; the other with the passing. One stores up treasure in heaven; the other accumulates it here on earth. It is all a matter of perspective."

"I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." ~Romans 8:18

i would like to think of both greg and myself as having this eternal perspective about our journey with jonathan. even if we only have hours or minutes to spend with jonathan here in this present time, we both know that we will see him again one day in heaven. our time spent here on earth without him is only but a dot on the timeline of eternity in which we will get to spend with him. this thought brings us much comfort.

however, there is a big difference between optimism and steadfast belief. i pray that i am not speaking just out of optimism. i realize that what we may experience when jonathan passes away has the potential to shake us to our very core. i'm sure i will think about perspective when this happens. there is that moment i dread when i know i will be personally handing my baby boy over to the funeral home representative and then realize that it will be the last time i ever see him, hold him, smell him, kiss him...and i'm sure i will weigh the eternal perspective against the present moment before God reassures me i am able to let him go. this moment may be our weakest throughout this whole journey. please pray for our strength.

may it be said of us:

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." ~2 Timothy 4:7

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 1:6

"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." ~Acts 20:24


  1. Lauren reach out for those around you when the perspective gets out of focus. God has given you family and friends to help you through this.

    The night my brother died my parents were blessed to have people take my brother sister and I withiut being asked. These same people fixed meals and packed my parents so they could go to his funeral. They were the perspective in that they continued their lives and carried our family along for a while.

    It seems now that you question what your perspective will be after Jonathan's death, but I think you are building the foundation for that perspective now and both of you will continue to have great strength alone and in concert with your support group.

  2. The comment above is so very true and we plan to be there for you to lean on during that time. This post, as usual, brings tears to my eyes. I know we will weep with you but your encouragement through this blog has strengthened us for the battle ahead.

  3. Lauren,
    When I heard this beautiful anthem at church on Sunday my thoughts went to you and Greg. Then when I read your posting on Monday with the scripture of Isaiah 43:2 I knew I had to have you hear it also. I searched the internet to find a recording of "Do Not Fear, For You Are Mine" by David Lantz. My love and prayers are with you always, Lauren Tomaschko

  4. Lauren,
    This is Kelly Hatton, Karrae's mom. Please continue to be strong. I pray for you and your family evreyday. Today was Karrae's funeral and it was so hard, but I really cherish every moment. Looking back, everything happened the way it was supposed to. I know I have not been as optimistic and as faithful as you and other people who have experienced this before me, but each day I am finding the little miracles that I may have missed along the way. Our priest, who is a close friend, gave a beautiful homily, and talked about how our family has come full circle in the Church. He also told us that God sings a song to babies when they are born and that is thier song for life until it leads you home. And if you listen closely, you may hear it. This is very hard but please stay in the moment and enjoy it now, just like you have been. You are a very strong person with so much faith and love for your child. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

  5. I got this blog link from Mike B., who's in my Bible study. I just wanted to let you know I'm praying for you and for precious Jonathan. God bless and keep you all.