baggage-free

well, already 2010 has not started like i envisioned.

the good news is that "losing 5 pounds" will no longer be my new year's resolution. i can check that one off already.

that's right, i spent the first two days of the new year very sick. it appears a stomach virus (no doubt lingering from that mean ol' 2009) had attacked 2/3 of our family. i thought i had food poisoning until greg also got sick. we immediately had kate whisked off to the grandparents' and used an entire can of lysol in our house. that seems to have done the trick. so far kate has escaped it's wrath, thank goodness.

we apologize in advance to the friends we hung out with for several hours on new year's eve.

and i apologize to my mother, who is sick even as i type this.

*****

i normally don't make a big deal about new year's resolutions or "starting over" every time january first rolls around. i might make a goal to read more, eat less, and water my plants more often or something boring like that.

well this year, i stood on 2010's doorstep with a ton of baggage collected over the past few months.

and i made the choice to step over the threshold and leave the baggage behind:

~minor regrets of things i should have done or didn't do while i was pregnant with jonathan or while he was alive in my arms....gone.

~getting thank-you notes out in a timely manner or not visiting jonathan's grave enough....gone.

~and the big one: letting people's negative reactions or comments about our decision to keep jonathan, or about our faith bother me....gone.

and that's just the tip of the baggage iceberg for me.

i have realized that by concerning myself with these types of things, especially the ones i can't change or put too much pressure on myself about, have caused me to become very weary. i recently found myself back at the place where my prayers were one word, "help," because i was too tired and overwhelmed to pray anything else.

in 2010, i gladly hand it over to the One who says:

"Come unto me all who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. " ~Matthew 11: 28-29

"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall." ~Psalm 55:22

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." ~1 Peter 5:7

i pray each of you have a baggage-free 2010!