addressing the elephant in the room

dear mr. elephant,

it's been almost 4 weeks now since your unexpected arrival, and we think you have overstayed your visit. you see, you take up quite a bit of space in the room. we're afraid you're making some of our friends feel...awkward. some of them probably don't know what to say to us when you're making such a spectacle of yourself. so if you insist on staying around, you could at least be nice enough to let our friends know:

• it's OK to talk about the elephant. we know he's there too. in fact, if you pretend he's not there, it may make things even more awkward.


• we realize the sheer size of the elephant alone may cause people to say awkward things. we know, because we have been there at one time or another. if it comes out wrong, we promise to remember it's the thought that counts.


• once the elephant is addressed, he tends to decrease in size exponentially, and everyone becomes more comfortable.


• we are still the same lauren and greg that we were before the elephant arrived. we just happen to have a third wheel now.


• we smile and laugh just like we did before the elephant arrived. in fact, we can pretty much guarantee you that most of the time, we won't do anything like cry in front of you. well, unless you cry and then all guarantees are off.


• we still like to have fun and hang out with our friends. and we need your friendship, your encouragement, and opportunites for fellowship now more than ever. a good day with friends trumps a bad day with the elephant everytime.

so, mr. elephant, we thank you for your cooperation in the matter. but if you continue to hang around much longer, we will have to start charging you rent.

sincerely,

lauren and greg