there is nothing like housework, cooking, and chasing a toddler around to snap you right back to normalcy. and i never thought i would be so thankful for the first two (i'm always thankful for my toddler!) yesterday i was quite the picture: barefoot, pregnant, not a bit of makeup on, and standing in the kitchen mixing a huge batch of chocolate muffins while spaghetti was simmering and the embroidery machine humming. once i noticed myself, i couldn't help but be amused. my, my, how things have changed over the past 2 years. but i know i'm right where i'm supposed to be!
so the past few days have felt quite "normal" again. apparently, the world does not stop just because i found out my baby will die. (although...i think some people's world stopped only because michael jackson died, which happened to be during the same week i received my amnio results. but i digress...) the laundry and dirty dishes still piled up. the groceries still ran low. and my sweet little kate still needed the same amount of attention now as she needed before the "news." but despite the feeling of normalcy again, is the one thought never far from my mind: my life, OUR lives, will never be the same again. i remind myself it's all part of God's plan.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ~ Jeremiah 29:11
july 3rd (6 days ago) we met with my OB to discuss our diagnosis and what steps to take next. another blessing has been my doctor. she is not only skilled and experienced, but she is a christian and fully supports us and our decision. and she has been praying for us. how wonderful is that? she spent a lot of time with us, patiently answering our long list of questions all while her waiting room was full. we were very thankful. during this visit, we learned that jonathan is a little over a week behind in growth, which is to be expected with a T13 baby. not too bad considering he is still growing. also, i have only gained 2 pounds this entire pregnancy, which (to me) is unusual. i'm showing, but i'm not that big. we also got to listen to his heartbeat, which was a strong 154 bpm. it sounded completely normal although we know otherwise.
we will be meeting with our high-risk specialist again on july 22nd. we hope to learn more about jonathan's heart condition, as well as any other information we can get. while we don't want to get overly concerned with all the details, because we know that God can heal any or all of jonathan's defects, we do need to know quite a bit about our son to make sure we make the best, informed decisions once he is full term. please pray that he makes it to at least 36 weeks, and without my health being compromised. i have read there is only a 20% chance of him making it to full term. it really would be such a blessing for us to have him as fully developed as possible, even breathing, when he is born.