This is the story of our precious baby boy, who was diagnosed prenatally at
17 weeks with a fatal chromosome disorder called Trisomy 13. Although
Jonathan's condition is considered "not compatible with life", we desired to give
him every chance at life. Our prayer is that those who are touched by our story
are drawn to God, who is Life Himself. John 14:6

To start at the beginning of our story, click here.


birthday, part two

(continued from birthday, part one) greg and i arrived at the hospital right around noon, and we were immediately ushered into our room. it was a huge room at the end of the hall, and was a delivery and postpartum room all in one, which was nice since we would be staying in it the entire time.

our last pregnancy pictures with jonathan

things happened pretty fast from there. we met our nurse, jessica, and later our social worker, dawn, when she came to check on us. before i knew it, i was changed into a hospital gown and had an IV put in my arm. we took a few moments to unpack jonathan's keepsake items, and the nurses set up a nice "display" of them in the bassinet. unfortunately, i was not prepared to deliver a baby that day, so the only thing i had all day to eat or drink was a muffin and a diet sunkist. i was starving and thirsty, and all i could have was basically ice chips.

i love ice chips....ok, who am i kidding.

we are determined to spoil this baby, no matter how long he lives for!

my doctor showed up right after lunchtime and gave me a couple of pills to encourage my body to begin preparing for labor. i was already experiencing mild contractions at this point, just like i had for the past week or two.

soon, our room was buzzing with family members and i was in labor. it didn't take long for the contractions to get pretty intense. thankfully, i didn't ever have to be put on pitocin for the contractions. things were moving along well, so i asked my nurse and my doctor again for their opinion on getting an epidural. jonathan was still breech, and in case he got stuck for any reason, they would have to resort to forceps or my doctor would have to manually go in and pull him out. that scared me. i was assured that jonathan's health would not be compromised by the epidural, but it would for the other drugs that were offered to me. for this reason alone, i opted to get the epidural but no other drugs.

the epidural did not work completely for me, just like i had experienced when i got one during kate's delivery. apparently, it has something to do with the nerves in my spine. only one side goes numb while the other is completely normal. with kate, it happened on my right side, and with jonathan it happened on my left. i'm sure just feeling the contractions on only one side helps alleviate the pain a bit, but it was still pretty bad.

we occasionally monitored jonathan's heart rate during labor, just to make sure he was still with us. however, one time it was so high, it didn't even measure on the machine. later, it registered at 220 BPM or so. we were thankful to know he was alive, but i could tell that greg and i would be so, so disappointed if we checked one time and didn't hear anything. it would have really broken our hearts, right before i would have to deliver. so we ended up deciding not to listen anymore and just to trust in God's will for jonathan's life, if he was meant to be born alive.

our photographer, debbie haussermann, arrived and then we spent some time alone with our pastor as he read us verses from psalm 118 and from psalm 27 and prayed for us and for baby jonathan. it was at this time, he encouraged us with his observance of God's perfect timing in all of this. for greg and me, it is sometimes hard to see it, because we are the ones walking through this trial. so to hear about the many ways God's fingerprints were all over this very day, was amazing. we plan to share these details in a future blog.

"This was the LORD’s doing; It is marvelous in our eyes. This is the day the LORD has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it." ~Psalm 118:23-24

close to about 7 pm, it became time to push. i could tell that jonathan was coming, and i wasn't even pushing yet. i was pretty sure that i was feeling him kick as his feet were about to present, and now that we know he was alive when he was born, i am positive that was what i was feeling. my doctor showed up and the pushing began. after about 4 sets of pushing, jonathan was born at 7:16 pm! it was so much easier than i could have ever thought, with jonathan being breech. i'm sure the Lord was merciful on us with such an easy delivery. i was able to enjoy jonathan from the moment he was placed in my arms! be continued...and i promise lots of pictures of jonathan next time.


  1. Amazing moments with your sweet baby in your arms. It was more than you could have ever asked or imagined. He is holding you each step of the journey.

  2. Hello. I found a link to your blog in an online article. I just want to tell you how inspiring you and your family are to me. I hope one day soon I am able to put my whole self in God and you have been such a great example of self-sacrifice and God's beauty in this world. Thank you for having such a positive impact on me. And thank you, Jonathan, for being such a beautiful soul and Jesus's helper. May God continue to bless you and your family.

  3. I am a friend of Jake and Amanda's. I have been praying for you and your family. I just want you to know that your strength and faith during this time is so amazing and inspiring to me. I pray that the Lord will bring you such comfort during these difficult times. You are truly a wonderful family. I know great blessings are in store for you all. Take care and God Bless.

  4. Lauren, I am amazed--and grateful--that you are able to continue blogging after all that you have just been through. Continuing to read about Jonathon's birthday is such a blessing. I cannot wait to read more, to see photos. Praising God for His fingerprints on every detail.

  5. Lauren, I just wanted you to know that you and Greg are continually in my thoughts and prayers. A dear older friend from church (who lost a daughter to leukemia many year ago) asked me to include this blurb from Nancy Guthrie's 'One Year Book of Hope':
    Week 22: Heaven: Longing for Home
    "When Hope came home with us, we knew she would be with us only a short time. What a gift God gave us to have and hold Hope for over six months. Never could a daughter have been more of a blessing to her parents. Early on, we were tempted to feel sorry for ourselves--that Hope was not a healthy baby who would grow old with us. Certainly that is a loss. But we have come to appreciate the gift of having her just as she was--so innocent and helpless, so precious and sweet, such a joy--for the time that we had her. And quite honestly, we feel so privileged to have been the parents of such a special child. So grieve with us, share our sorrow, but don't feel sorry for us. We are enormously blessed.
    Now, as we say good-bye to Hope in this life, a piece of us resides in heaven. Her absence leaves a hole in our heats, but we are comforted to know we will one day see her again. Her life has shown us how temporal this life is, how cruel the effects of sin are in this world, and it has implanted in us a longing for our true home, with Him. Hope is there. She's home."
    "We've been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what's ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we'll never settle for less." 2 Corinthians 5:4-5, The Message
    So many people are praying for you!
    In Him,
    Katie White