when i was pregnant two years ago with kate i learned that people love to talk to pregnant women. complete strangers will carry on conversations with you about your baby-on-the-way, and they will also go out of their way to help you unload groceries, open doors for you, etc.
i also had an awkward experience when a complete stranger came up to me in wal-mart and rubbed my baby bump. it was a sweet older lady who had a grandbaby in tow, and she struck up a conversation with me. before i knew it, i saw her hand coming toward me as if in slow motion and i just froze....and my face turned really red. (seriously, what do you say after that?!) it was completely awkward, but i can laugh about it now. people know it's a happy time for the mom-to-be, and i imagine that seeing a pregnant woman brings back happy memories for those who have been there, done that.
there is no difference being pregnant with jonathan. for the past few weeks now where it has been completely obvious that i am pregnant, it seems that everywhere i go, i am asked about my pregnancy. at first this was uncomfortable for me because i knew it would eventually happen, and i just wasn't sure what the appropriate thing to say was. i soon realized that i don't need to say anything, because it just might ruin someone's day if i told them about jonathan's condition. i just smile and try to maintain eye contact and try to be as vague as possible with my answers while still being polite. i feel that not only do i have to protect myself from becoming emotional, but i have to protect the innocent person just making friendly conversation.
this is the conversation i have at least twice a week, almost verbatim:
friendly cashier: "when are you due?"
me: "well....(long pause)...the end of november."
FC: "WOW! you're not showing very much!"
me: "yeah, he's a little guy."
FC: "you're so lucky! i was HUGE when i was pregnant!"
again, not sure what to say to that. i don't consider myself "lucky" although i do consider myself "blessed" in ways that are hard to explain in such a casual encounter.
here's another amusing/potentially awkward conversation i had with a stranger recently:
this nice lady was asking me all about my pregnancy: so, do you know what you're having? what's his name? when is he due? is this your first baby? how far apart will your kids be? what's your daughter's name?.....and so on.
i told her my daughter's name was kate and we were naming our son jonathan. "hmmm..." she said, and after a long pause: "oh no! you'll have a jon and kate! like jon and kate plus eight!!"
Lauren,
ReplyDeleteI have struggled to make a comment since I first started following your blog. I have prayed about what would be appropriate to say to a complete stranger and her family, who are going through what your family is going through. I know that no words will ever be just right, but I want you to know that I think of Jonathan every day and pray that the Lord holds ya'll tight in his arms for however much longer Jonathan's Journey may be. I am awed and inspired by the depth and range of your faith. Jonathan's story has touched me, and he is so very blessed to have been created for your family.
Greetings and how wonderful to read your testimony that you do know that God is with you all.
ReplyDeleteI am a mother of a 23 year old blessing, also named Jonathan. He has endured so many trials and adversities during his life to date, and still has such a positive outlook. Jonathan's are truly 'gifts from God'. I am so happy to see that you value your precious gift as well.
I teach so many children who do not have the love and support from their parents, as you show for your Jonathan. I hope they can access this site and feel the power of love and blessings you have. You are doing something far more powerful for all of us--- in the name of God, with angel Jonathan right there, too!
Leslie
I understand people asking lots of questions. I don't bother to tell them that we don't know how long our baby will live (only God does). I try to be joyous about my pregnancy and my baby girl's arrival in January (hopefully). I pray everything goes as "planned" and that God shows you the perfect timing for Jonathon's birth.
ReplyDeleteLauren and Greg,
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say I know how you feel. I have a baby in heaven that during his short little life on earth, he too had trisomy 13. We made a different decision than you are making and while others judge you for the decisions you make, they have no right to. For what little my opinion matters, I think you guys are very brave. People are just mean sometimes. Don't give them power by letting it hurt you... that is something they will have to answer for one day. I pray that God continues to give you peace like the peace he gave to me. I literally felt him holding me when I needed Him to for the next 2 years. Now he has blessed me with another child. I am 15 weeks pregnant and trying to decide whether to have the amnio next Monday. I'm quite scared but I know God has given me this gift after years of trying. With Him all things are possible. I will pray for the two of you and your precious miracle. He obviously needs our little warriors in heaven for something really important. My baby was named Michael. Your in my prayers!
W